Sunday, March 30, 2014

Misery's mystery

As once for some time I'm again having a problem with defining this blog things.
My dream is to feel complete and I can't feel complete without:

- being able to describe my life and feelings
- knowing what to write and where and in which language
- doing some kind of art

many other things also, but these 3 are about having a blog

I want people to read me and talk to me, but I'm tired of leaving comments everywhere all the time. And that seems to be the only way to keep bloggers' attention. What's more I've got lost in all those categories. Sometimes I post inspirational things on my Polish site. I took some photos this week, just few shots to convinve myself I have a pretty life - and I got clueless where to post them. Who I want to see them? Polish bloggers, to which I can write more metaphorical post full of poetry and linguisms, which comes easy to me. Or to you, just to share nice experience, because those pretty pictures are just pretty?
The language thing is important too. I heva two blogs- one in Polish, which I started more like a cultural and lifestyle blog, but it soon made itself to be some kind of metaphorical diary with sad songs and my worries. 
Here I put all the nice things I find on the internet, but sometimes I even post selfies and create myself to be a person I want to be - positive, interesting, some kind of happy. I want to leave all the troubles behind and pretend that I'm a simple being that takes the best from everyday beauty. 

My previous post was about whom I want to be. But I'm too smart not to know that you can't be who you are not and see life differently just like that. I'm a very sad, angry and tired person, really. Really disappointed with constant unfullfillment. 
Yes, that's not what you write on lifestyle, lookbook blogs. 

I have no idea of no idea because of no idea. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Natalie, I'm so sorry you are feeling like this, I send you a warm hug and lots of love - if it helps, my blog doesn't 'belong' anywhere, I have no idea how to define it, it is what it is, me and my life - I write honestly, if I have had a bad week or a good week then I write about it. Sometimes being able to write about things can help us, we can figure things out when our words are in front of us. Good luck, I hope you find your answers, and I will be here waiting to read about them x x x take care lovely x x x