I have mixed feelings about this week, as always. The beginning was quite promising - I felt loved and surprisingly, I suceed in reading texts for phonetique. Then, tired by exhausting days and people, not enough sleep, not enough eating, not calm enough I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a formless, miserable, messy girl. After a year of loosing weight because of anxiety I have put on 3 kg within a week. And it can be seen. I'm worried. My hair is pompous and lifeless at the same time. And today I had another proof that the harder I try, the more stupid I am. I mean my French. Almost five years of learning this language and I'm as bad as I was at the beginning. This is quite a shock for me, because I always was talented and had good marks.
AND NOW SOME IDIOTS ARE CLINKING AND MAKING NOISES OUTSIDE, MAKING ME FURIOUS. FUCK.
Yes, this is my common friday. Too many agressive thoughts and misery. I hate people.
Sorry for that . The lovely bubble of inspiration of this blog has just bursed.
Are there so good things to say?
Well, this week I've seen "Kate&Leopold" again with that adorable tune by Sting, which makes me melt with tender. By listening to this I almost feel like becoming a romantic, fragile and shy girl again. With lots of dreams.
I bought myself a nautitius bracelet. I into sea motives very much.
And I saw brilliant photos which can bring you back a little bit of faith that there is sense in the world, somewhere.
 |
| Elena Shumilova photography
And then I got Barcelona in a quiz What city should you actually live in?
I liked the choice. Wonder if I'll ever go there. For now it's just impossible to imagine with my fear of traveling.
You got Barcelona:You are a little bit of everything: half party, half pensive. You’re just as happy out clubbing as you are spending a long dinner with friends. You’re known to have a unique taste in everything, and you’re proud of it. |
Time to go back to studying before exams. Just to prove myself that those studies are senseless and that I'm not that smart I used to be.
Have a great weekend, try to relax and keep your fingers crossed for my poor fate.
And sorry for such a pathetic post.
Oh Natalie, it isn't a pathetic post, we have moments when we feel like that, and it's not nice, please don't feel like I am patronising you but you are super smart, you are beautifully fluent in English (I speak no other language, which is wrong really) and those days when it feels dark, we doubt all our abilities, so I send you lots of hugs and I will keep my fingers crossed and I hope you get some rest, take care lovely x x x
ReplyDeleteThanks, you are so warm and sweet, Sandra.
ReplyDeletewood those pictures are just wonderful and magically dreamy!!! especially those with the rabbits and the little darling in the lake!! good luck for the exams, and don´t worry too much there will come better moments soon!
ReplyDeleteand you definitely should visit barcelona one day i lived there once and i loved the city sooo much!
kiss,mary